


Please, listen to me

by akmmka



Category: Emmerdale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:45:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7387381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akmmka/pseuds/akmmka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron can't forget what Robert said at the scrapyard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please, listen to me

**Author's Note:**

> As you will notice English isn't my native language. I hope you will be patient with me.

They sat in the pub as they did nearly every night. They never talked about meeting up in the pub, they never asked the other one why he hadn't shown and they never talked about anything heavy or difficult. It was just Aaron and Robert - time, after work Aaron would head for the pub and Chas for tea and Robert would head for Victorias for tea, they would meet up in the pub, stay for two hours or so and then leave. Same booth every night, the one in the corner. Opposite eachother, talking, having a beer, enjoying eachothers company, night after night. 

Aaron was listening to Robert talking about some client at the scrapyard. Not really paying attention to what he said, just listening to his voice and drinking that beer. Then suddenly Roberts voice changes and becomes vicious. 

 

_You're a basketcase .... First time you took your top of I should of run a mile._  
_Talk about being scared of being gay you wrote the flaming book...._  
_You fancy a bloke ....._  
_You turn him tetraplegic ..._  
_You're gay, selfharming, emotionally stunted, you probably end up topping your self._  
_Oh, no wait I forgot! You can't even do that right..._

 

The surrounding noises becomes distant, he can feel himself stiffen and his hands shaking. Somewhere in that blurry distant Roberts voice calls trying to get his attention.

"Aaron, Aaron are you ok?" 

It is the sound from when Robert put the glass he has taken from Aarons shaking hand down at the table that brings him back. He looks at Roberts worried face. He watches Robert reaching over the table to grab his hand. While putting both his hands in his lap away from Roberts he looks directly at Robert and says in a low tired voice that screams with agony: "What you said, at the scrapyard. I can't get rid of it. It hunts me. It is on repeat in my head."

Aaron watches how Robert goes pale and it is like he is shrinking there right infront of him. In the same time Robert watches Aaron getting up and leaving the pub, leaving half a pint and his phone behind. 

Robert grabs Aarons phone and leaves the pub equally fast as Aaron but outside the pub it is empty and dark. Aaron is nowhere to be seen. Robert sinks down at the bench outside the pub. He knows he owes Aaron a huge explanation and apology for everything he said that day. But to be honest he was still trying to wrap his head around how he could say such horrible things to Aaron. Cause he loved Aaron and that love was part of the problem. Cause everytime he loved he got rejected or abandoned. His mother, his father, his brother, Sarah and so on so why wouldn't Aaron? He knew he wasn't good enough for Aaron, he had hurt him so much in so many ways. Everytime he started to think of it his inside curled into a huge lump paining him and sometimes he hated himself cause he let Aaron matter to him. He hated himself as soon as he had said what he said too. He physicaly hurt everytime he watched Aaron and rememberd that day. He never intended to hurt Aaron, he just had a mind full with conflicted feelings and alot of feelings about Aaaron that he was not strong enough to acknowledge. If he let Aaron matter to him Aaron could hurt him, then he became fragile. Robert didn't do fragile. He knew that he couldn't cope if Aaron left him so better if he made Aaron leave. It had worked. Aaron did leave and Robert didn't cope. 

He knows for certain that he once and for all has to make this up to Aaron. He picks the phone up, dails a number and starts talking. 

 

He has an idea of where to find Aaron and when he get closer he can see he was right. Aaron is in the middle of the bridge staring out in the dark. Robert stands behind him. Calling his name gently but Aaron choses not to respond. 

"Aaron, would you say I have changed since that day? Aaron?" he repeats when Aaron keeps ignoring him.  
"Yea" his answer is tired and wage.  
"Then please Aaaron, please listen to what I have to say now."

Aaron goes quiet again. Robert lets out a sight before he takes Aarons hand and fold his fingers around his phone.  
"Please listen to what I have to say now" he begs again and then leaves. 

 

Aaron is surprised when Robert turns around and leaves him. Even then his mind is screaming leave me alone he knows that it isn't what he really wants. He is afraid to admit to himself admit how important Robert is to him, considering how Robert has treted him in the past he can't even like him and definitely not love him can he? No sane person would love a person like Robert. There must be something wrong with him when he just can't let Robert go. It would be easier if Robert just left, it is not like anyone stays anyway, noone really loves him, well his mum maybe and Paddy and Adam but do they really? Aaron isn't sure, Paddy turned out to be someone Aaron doesn't know, his mother turned to his... his so called father and Adam, would Adam go to France just to save Aaron? Aaron wasn't sure. Maybe Edna had been right, maybe he was the one with all the love. The one that would be left behind. It certainly felt like it right now. 

He stod still seemingly looking stright ahead out in the dark but his eyes drifted around to find out if Robert was around. When he felt sure that the blonde had left he felt how his strength left his body and he sat down feeling like he was going to faint.

His mind and thoughts was going so fast right now. What did just happen? Robert had told him over and over again that he would never leave him, you cant push me away he said but here he was, sat all alone in the dark. Robert had finally decided that he is not worth it anymore. He had managed to push away the one he loves again. It hurts to be left again. He was afraid to be all alone, always to be the one who everybody gave up on. It didn't matter how much he wanted to deny it to him self and everybody else, the truth was that he loved Robert. He shouldn't but he did. 

He closed his eyes trying to keep the tears away. It was cold and damb and dark outside and he had noone to turn to. He leaned his head back feeling the tears at his cheeks. He took a deep breath and shiverd from the cold. He pressed his phone in frustration and it showed that he had one missed called. He pressed the phone again and liftet the phone up to listen to the message that had been recorded. Not really interested in what the other person had to say but he wanted some human contact, a voice to listen to, he just did't want to feel all alone and abandoned. 

 

_I love you Aaron. You are everything to me, I need you. I need you to make me a better person. You are the only one that makes me want to be that person. You are so important to me. I will do anything to be the person you want me to be. I want to keep you safe, I want to wake up beside you, I want to make us breakfast, I want to hold your hand so everyone can see, I want you. Always. When you're not around I can't function. I'm lost without you Aaron. I can't breath, I make stupid decisions, Aaron you are the light in all your moodiness. What I did to you, I can't let it go, I'm like you. It is on repeat and when I see you and remember I feel like Im dieing. But I can't live without you Aaron. Being without you is even worse. You have such a huge heart. You love everyone and do everything for the people you love please let me be that person for you. I will do everything to be that person to you. Let me know what you want from me and you will get it._

_Please Aaron, listen to me._

Robert opens the message from Aaron with shaking hands and gives out a sigh of relief as he reads - I listen to you.


End file.
